An Prevalent Grief
C.S. Lewis in his book, "A Grief Observed" says of the vacuum that is created
by the loss of a loved one,
"There is a sort of invisible blanket between
the world and me. I find it hard to take in what anyone says............And no
one ever told me about the laziness of grief.......I loathe the slightest
effort........even shaving. What does it matter if my cheek is rough or
smooth? They say that an unhappy man wants distractions- something to take him
out of himself. Only as a dog-tired man wants an extra blanket on a cold night;
he'd rather lie there shivering than get up and find one." HOW
where I am now...........and you know. But I want to thank those of you who
went the extra mile to be next to me, even in the face of my silent replies,
blank looks, unanswered emails and telephone calls, and stood up
appointments.........who dared to even say something. I realize, now,
that though I thought that I needed (and still need, sometimes) to be alone.
But what I really needed, was to have someone interrupt that
alone-ness.........someone to insist that I come running when I didn't even feel
like sitting.........to tell me "I'll be waiting for you tomorrow morning at
out of yet another run, and say, "sure you don't wanna go? I'm waitin'
here."..........to hear the words, "OK, spill it, I'm
listening". Thanks for getting me
to talk, and for listening to the same sad stories over and over
again........stories that I thought were too sad or angry to tell anyone else.
Thanks for letting a grown man cry. And for you who have lost loved ones,
forgive me for not being there and staying close.........for not asking "how're
you feeling?", or being available to hear you. I know now.
I'm better because of you.
............not in very good shape right now.........not terribly good company
either, and some of you are holding back so that I can run with you.
my friend and helper. You are truly God's angels........... you know who you