Traveler of the Week - Denver Edition

Published by Runnin' The Streets
Sep 8th 2012, 1:38am | 1003 views
Random - Traveler of the Week - Denver Edition
In order to drive our blog forward even when we aren't necessarily scaling a mountain
 (tomorrow), we have instituted several weekly blog themes. The first to appear is what we've deemed "Traveler of the Week." Every week we will thrill our public with paragons of stereotypical horror. So break out your fanny packs, people, we'll be scouting your local tourist traps soon. 

The Rocky Mountain Martyr

Though there were many stellar candidates to be found on the eighty gabazillion million hour drive from Tennessee to Colorado (particularly struck by the sexy beast wearing a sleeveless Flea -the superhero, not the bassist- T-shirt while rocking out to Creed in his rusted Tercel in Illinois) it was this beaut of a safety hazard Erica and Phoebe encountered yesterday that has captured this week's top prize. The Garden of the Gods was mind-blowing, equally as mind blowing...THIS LADY -->

Note her sheer courage in the face of certain death as the Hell's Angel barreling around the blind curve she is so leisurely strolling across attempts to swerve around her white denim clad body. As she types out what could really only be the most dire of text messages, one has to wonder if the purple neck pillow has obscured her peripheral vision to the point that she thinks those screeching tires must be someone else's death toll. Or perhaps the plaid trucker hat has slipped and she's now blind to the yellow double line she has deemed her own personal cross walk. As always, we present this prize to you, Rocky Mountain Martyr with a personal letter of thanks.

Dear RMM,

     I am inspired by your utter fearlessness as you take it upon yourself to insure that this and other bikers in Colorado Springs will forever wear their helmets. One never can be sure when the next rogue pedestrian will strike out to see what treasures lie on the other side of the road, and your willingness to demonstrate this stupidity is commendable. 

Though some may have questioned why you choose to wear your traveler-friendly neck pillow when there is no vehicle within site, I recognize that you must have simply wanted to take extra safety precautions! I mean, for what other reason could you be wearing such an array of neon colors if not to reflect oncoming headlights? I see your highlighter pink plaid hat and totally bitchin' orange sneaks as the safety measures they are, not the highly questionable fashion choices they appear to be. 
Your efforts have not gone unrecognized and I hope that this illustrious honor, as well as the totally unremarkable view from the other side of the road, was worth your selfless risk. Whoever that lucky bastard was on the other end of that text better appreciate your unflinching bravery in the face of danger just as much as your charmingly quirky disregard of basic traffic laws.
I truly thank thee.

Forever an admirer,

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