Lunch on a Glacier and Other Life Lessons

Published by Runnin' The Streets
Sep 15th 2012, 10:18pm | 1636 views
Random - Lunch on a Glacier and Other Life Lessons
"Hello, hikers, I shat back there. Deal with it." -Mr. Ram
Sort of. We are illegally piggybacking off the Wifi at a resort in Glacier, but we've bought their crazy expensive gourmet coffee so I feel we deserve at least the next ten minutes.For the last 5 days we've been in what we unanimously decided is the most beautiful place in America and, as far as we've seen, Earth.  Of course, it's also one of the most remote and completely without cell or internet access for miles. Normally cool, right now just inconveniently timed what with the daily blogging and all.
Still, it's been completely worth it as we can't even begin to adequately describe the mind-bogglingness of the terrain here. We'll let our pictures do that despite the fact that my Kindergarten self might as well have drawn them for all that they can capture what it's like here too. (Those will go up when it doesn't take 45 minutes to upload even one).

Instead, we'll let you in on what it's been like for the three of us "roughing" it for the last 5 days. 
Let's momentarily flashback to packing in Knoxville… One would think that when our Prius was full -really doesn't take much to fill our eco-friendly clown car- the first item to ditch would have been the extra sleeping bag or perhaps the cooler. No no, for us it was the obvious choice was our tent. I mean who needs the means to create shelter when we're really only camping for 60% of the trip? It's not like it's gonna be F@$#ING FREEZING in Montana or anything.

On Tuesday night in Yellowstone as temperatures dipped to 9 degrees below freezing, and our lean-to crafted from camping hammocks -which we weren't allowed to hang due to the occasional rogue elk in the area- imploded because of ice, we began to rethink our packing strategy. Erica bailed for the car around 4:30am when ice crystals started forming on her hair, and I (Kat) followed suit at 6 when my toes lost all feeling. Phoebe somehow developed sleeping bag gills in the night and maintained above-hypothermic body heat levels by closing off all air holes in her bag with a jacket. 
We'd planned to camp two nights in Yellowstone, but "accidentally" left a night early. Yellowstone was beautiful and geysers are cool, but by the time we saw the 89 millionth tourist watching Old Faithful erupt through their iPad screen, we were ready to move on. 

Enter Glacier National Park, a crash-pad snuck onto the floor of a friend's dorm room, and the most mind-blowing scenery a human could possibly imagine. Yesterday we hiked out to cross off an item off of our Runnin' the Streets Bucket List "4) Eat lunch on a glacier." and were not only successful at that but learned a few things on the way:
  1. Rams with horns the size of car tires do not give an eff about you and your desire to not fall off of a mountain. You WILL be waiting until they are done loitering and pooping across the trail, and you will be happy about it.
  2. Adam Sandler was right, water directly from a glacier is, in fact, some high quality H2O.
  3. If you encounter a Grizzly, you're gonna need to know which way the wind is blowing before spraying your bear mace at it. Not learned from experience, but the ridiculousness of having to test the air before spraying a bear that wants to EAT YOU really sticks.
  4. Altitude + Turkey Chili = extreme public flatulence… Lesson. Learned. For us and every other hiker we encountered. I mean, woah. 

Still, the pictures really can't do this place justice.  We had no idea that water this turquoise existed in nature, or any place in America was still so untouched by humanity. Today we watched a Grizzly and her cub foraging along a lakeside from 30ft away (stop panicking, parents, we were with Park Rangers). They were completely unconcerned with us, and had no desire to do anything but rack up the calories before hibernation in a couple of months. Our place as visitors in THEIR habitat is unforgettable here. The rams and bears and goats and sheep and moose we've seen have tolerated us, decidedly not the other way around. 

Them damn internets are starting to fail again so we're off do something rugged while wearing ponchos. 
Heading to Vancouver tomorrow, so we'll be posting next from civilization, eh.

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