One of the kids on our XC team dedicated a poem to our head coach at our banquet last night.

Ode’ to the Left Lane Lingerer

By Jacob Kotick

 

Twas’ the morn before a big meet,

And all thru the land,

Coach Whiteside’s gettin’ ready

Cause he’s da man!

 

The boys were nestled all snug in their sweats,

While the nightmare of Districts persists in their heads

With Chris on his Twitter and Coach dressed in black,

Coach says, “Remember, No Sleeping, No Naps!”

 

When out in the hall there arose such a clatter,

Coach sprang from his room to see what was the matter.

When, what to his wondering eyes should appear,

The entire girls team, yelling, “Hey Coach, We Here!”

 

With the girls so excited, and the boys all so lean

He hoped and he prayed that it wasn’t a dream.

More rapid than eagles, his runners they came,

And he whistled and shouted and called them by name:

 

Now Peter and Campbell and Jacob and John!

Austin, Andre, Ian and Harry, come on!

Run Cassie, Dieldra, Hallie and Cal!

There’s Peter Mac, Aryn , Aaron and Jace

And Paula and Taylor and Ryan in place!

Hurry up Brandon and Tim, and Natalie, too!

Where’s Roger?  We’ve got a big job to do!

 

As he adjusted his shoes and was turning around

To Books a Million came the parents, all with a bound!

“We’re ready to drive, if you need us today.

We’ll all follow you – ‘cause you know the way!”

 

His eyes how they twinkled! His mustache so hairy!

His cheeks were like anvils, his nose in a query!

He was chiseled and fit; with no fat in sight!

Even though he eats pizza almost EVERY NIGHT!

 

Well, he spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

Passed out itineraries and turned with a jerk,

And pressing a finger to the side of his nose

He blew a snot rocket, then up I-10 he drove.

 

He pressed on the gas, and to his team gave a whistle

They lined up behind him, straight as a pistol

Then they heard him exclaim, ere’ he stayed within sight,

 

I drive in the LEFT LANE, never the RIGHT!