My name is Chris

I run

I ran in college

I work for adidas grassroots running

I'm lost in translation.

The deep south: Chicken Dumplings, Crack and Leg 1 of the Journey

So I’ve been in the Dirty Dirty for a week now and I have split feelings about this place.  I’ve seen some really cool stuff and I’ve seen some other things that truly make me feel that the west coast is “the good side of the country!”  I’m at a lose for words as to explain why I have these feelings about the ATL, so I have decided to handle this description in the way that I handle most other situations like this.  No, it’s not a scavenger hunt…but rather, a TOP 5 LIST!  So here it goes…Top 5 Good/Bad things of Atlanta, Georgia in alternating positions.

5. Good: Kennesaw Mountain. As with most parks in the south, Kennesaw Mountain is a civil war monument complete with cannons, large metal sculptures and an annual reenactment.  Yes, hordes of middle aged men (and probably like 3, maybe 4 women) converge on Kennesaw Mountain at various times of the year to play war.  As I ran on the numerous miles of dirty path (the reason the mountain made the list) I found myself wondering what it would be like to actually watch this reenactment.  In my mind I often find myself comparing to what I think a Dungeons and Dragons convention would be like.  Lots of pale skinny people, in costumes, with an undeterred fixation blacklist from mainstream society.  And for some reason I visualize a lot of Mountain Dew (or sugary carbon water as it was called in the olden days) being consumed and most likely there being some dice involved.  I’m not sure where the dice come into play, but the game Risk has dice, so there needs to be some dice involved.  None the less, I think it would be a hell of a time dragging a metal lawn chair and a 12 pack of PBR (or the regional equivalent) out to the mountain and seeing what this whole reenactment thing is all about.  Oh yeah, and the mountain is an incredible place to run, with many groomed dirt paths and miles of running trails; so one point for the trails and one point for the entertainment value of the reenactment. 2 points if there are dice involved.

5. Bad: Traffic. ATL has some of the most gridlocked highways I have ever seen.  If you are trying to get around town via the highway anytime between the hours of 7am-10am or 3pm-6pm you are totally f’ed.  It is not uncommon for it to take 1-2 hours to make it 10mi across town.  Not for me…

4. Good: The specialty running stores.  Atlanta has a plethora of great specialty running stores.  Big Peach, West Stride, Fleet Feet and Phiddippidies all provide incredible services to the running communities and are very respectable establishments.  Everyone has the own distinct personality, but ultimately helps promote fitness in an incredibly appropriate manor.

4. Bad: Strange people fighting in the streets.  Although it is slightly entertaining to watch two incredibly intoxicated persons try to karate style fight each other at a bus stop, it is still a little crazy.  I’m not a big fan of seemingly random acts of violence, so big thumbs down to the ATL street fight club; negative 2 points for not being able to keep your fist fights to backyards and basements where they belong.      

3. Good: Chick-fil-a/Cracker Barrel.  Holly S, these two places are awesome.  If I lived in the south I believe that I would sustain off of a constant diet of chicken and dumplings and waffle fries!  And I think I would get really good at that IQ game with the little triangle board and all the golf tees; 10 points for good old southern comfort food and a relentless willingness to put gravy on anything and everything.

3. Bad: Pavement.  I believe a very wise man once said in quote “Cause it's hard to survive, Livin' in a concrete jungle and these girls just keep passin' me by!” Oh wait, that was skee-lo.  But he is right…concrete sucks and the ATL has a ton of it.  Beyond the scattered parks and lawns this place is completely paved over.  Hurray for grass…negative 10 points.

2. Good: Southern Accents.  I don’t know what it is, but there is something very intriguing about a girl with a southern accent.  Maybe it’s the slow drawl, or the way they articulate their words, but I like it.  I like it a lot.  20 points, no questions asked.

2. Bad: Pub 71.  Pub 71 is an Irish pub located in Atlanta’s Buckhead district and may be one of the top 5 worst Irish pubs of all time.  In fact, I don’t know if they can even call it Irish.  Just because you sell Harp and fish and chips doesn’t mean you have the right to call yourself Irish.  

1. If you are an Irish Pub don’t have chalupas on the menu. 

2. If you are an Irish Pub your sheppard’s pie shouldn’t look like a banquet tv  dinner and some boxed mashed potatoes had a baby on your plate. 

1. Bad: Crack.  If you want some crack…downtown ATL has some of the best places to find it.  Lots of crackheads, lots of large individuals in parka jackets, lots of persons who come out of the shadows if your car slows down in the wrong neighborhood.  Up with hope, down with dope…negative 30 points.

1. Good: Randomness.  This city is completely random.  Million dollar homes next to the projects.  Huge skyscrapers next to brick single family homes.  Southern style BBQ next to Mediterranean.  Thugs in the same neighborhoods with guy’s who like guy’s and ladies who like ladies.  It is just an incredibly random place (good and bad) that always keeps you on your toes.  At times you think there is a high probability of getting shot, at other times you feel like you don’t have to lock your doors.  Random place, but I’m a random dude, so maybe it would work.

Anyway, my point system is completely flawed, just like the BCS so I am going to throw it out.  ATL has some great places to run in the outlaying areas and some pretty hip spots.  The running scene seems to be up and coming, there are some great places to eat and I have a weak spot for the accent.  However, it is a large city and large city problems.  Pavement, Crack and traffic.  All in all, I don’t think it is for me, but it’s not my least favorite place in the world.  Next stop…Boston, until then.