I was ready the stadge was set, I was having the best year of my life, I was undefeated against all the Americans this outdoor season with new PBs and the USA champs in my backyard I was ready for something big. 

I woke up Sunday June 28th and felt great I just knew things were going to fall in place.  I have not been this excited for a meet ever because I just knew my body was ready to put on a show.  During my jump warm ups I was missing bars because I was being lazy but I knew that I felt so good it wouldnt matter.  Finally I knew that warm ups were closing down and I had five minutes to finish up.  I put the bar up to 2.20m (7-2.5) and made it with easy and again the confidence was back. 

I usually start jumping at 2.20m (7-2.5) but since the field size was so big I decided to start at 2.15m (7-0.5) so I wouldnt be waiting around to take my first jump.  I made this with ease then 2.20m (7-2.5) and 2.25m (7-4.5) all easy bars for me.  Then 2.28m (7-5.75) was next.  My first jump I approached the bar well but wasn't running through my last two steps the way I know that I could have and it caused me to just bairly graze the bar on the way down with my legs.  I all of a sudden caught myself laughing inside because I knew that this is a height that usually comes at ease for me.  I then tried to muscle over the 2nd attempt because I let my emotions get ahold of me.  And it led to another miss!  Finally I had one more attempt I knew that I needed to make this or my ultimate goal of making the world champs team was over.  I got the crowd into this jump for the first time that day ran.  I finally ran through my last few steps well and blew way over 2.28m (7-5.75) by a good 3-4 inches!  I was excited and knew that I had atleast 2 more bars in me!  I knew then that I could make 2.31m (7-7) and win the meet.  Keith Moffat and Andra Manson both missed already and I was in the drivers seat.  I got the crowd into it again and just bairly missed.  I didnt have a good take off it was annoying me.  I felt as though my last few steps could be run A LOT better.  Then my second attempt I had a horrible take off and still bairly missed.  Finally my third attempt.  I got angry at myself because this is a height that I have been clearing all year with ease and knew that I had to make it to get top three.  I wanted it too much and pressed in my run.  I came down on the bar and missed for the third time.  I felt like I was shot in the head and laid down on the pit speachless.  I didnt know what to do.  I wanted to be a a good sport but was shocked inside and kept on saying to myself that my dream was over this year! 

I came back to the area where all the other high jumpers were and I congradulated the three that beat me and I could see the remorse in their eyes.  I could tell they too were shocked that I didnt make the team.  I didnt know what to do or where to go.  All my hard training, hard work dedication and commitment to making this team was crushed all at once.  I wanted to just flee and run home.  (I live 2 miles from the track)  But as I went through the media ducking and saying no comment to everyone I found myself in a large crowd of people saying that I had to stay and get drug tested.  I was screaming in my head and wishing I could just vanish.  I was trying to be as nice as possible to everyone even though inside I hurt bad real bad.  I had to sign up for the World Champs team as an alternate and wow was that hard to do!  I had to stay and extra 2 hours before I could finally flee the scene. 

Once this was finally over, I went home leaped into bed laid head first into my favorite pillow and screamed and screamed and screamed.  And you know what it made me feel 10000x better!

After this, the pain set inside me.  I couldnt sleep well for several nights.  People kept on asking and emailing me what went wrong Jesse?!  Still even to this day I get asked all the time about it.  But what can I do now?  Well the answer is go out to Athens where my next meet is and get a new PB!  That sounds like a good goal for me right now!  I know that this very possible.  I will be facing great competition including Ivan Ukhov who has been almost unbeatable this year and this really excites me.  world.  So keep your eyes open this Monday for the results in Athens because I am ready! 

Thanks for reading guys

Also I want to wish Tora Harris, Andra Manson and Keith Moffat much success in Berlin I will be cheering them on!