Previous - Sept. 27 Blog Entry

Dealing With A First Injury

By Isabel Max for DyeStat

I have a burning question on my mind: As a runner, is injury inevitable?

The thought came to me a few months ago amidst my relative innocence; I had never been injured before and my first summer of full-time running lay ahead. 

Coming off of a rest period after the track season, I was slowly upping my mileage and enjoying relaxed runs in the mountains. I attended Bowerman Track Club’s Bend camp and chatted with Shalane Flanagan and Jerry Schumacher. I was experimenting with gear, recovery, fuel.

Inevitably, I stopped by my local running store. I looked past all the foot measuring tools to the wall of shoes that towered before me. My eyes zeroed in on a pair. Their beauty clouded my brain. I marched to the cash register and announced that I would please love to buy those lovely shoes displayed over there, thank you.

When I dirtied my beautiful new shoes on the trails the next day, I could feel my toes had more room than I was used to. I tried wearing a thicker sock. It calmed my conscience but I knew I had to be picky if I was going to wear these shoes for my next 200 miles. I switched back to the shoes I was in before.

My IT (iliotibial) band decided that those two days of extra toe room were too much. During my next few runs, I experienced a gradual throbbing pain on the outside of my right knee. After one workout, my knee swelled so bad that I couldn’t walk.

So began the rollercoaster of physical therapy, cross training and crying. At first, I rolled with the punches. I was still in denial that I, me, could be injured. I couldn’t even use the word. When my teammates asked why I wasn’t at practice, I said my IT Band Syndrome was a “reaction.” In a way, this helped my outlook. I was motivated to ride a bike for my workouts and do my PT exercises because I thought of my pain as temporary. It’s true, if there’s any “good” time to be injured for a runner, it’s at the beginning of summer. 

Then my annual three-day team camp creeped up on my calendar in late August. I realized I had been cross training for a month. My injury had exceeded my notion of “temporary.” As my teammates went on group runs, I felt removed from their world. I felt bitter toward them as I started classifying myself as “injured.” I perceived their cheering me on as mockery while I biked.

When I got home, my trainer bike seemed to sneer at me. There was a day where I stood next to it in spandex and bike shoes, crying, willing myself to hop on. I didn’t. Instead, I took Lauren Fleshman’s advice off the pages of her training log:

Don’t be afraid to do nothing. There will be days when you just can’t motivate yourself to cross train, rehab, or do anything else. On days like this, rest is best...Your sanity and life enjoyment are more important than a couple weeks of missed training here or there.

Perhaps the most frustrating part of my injury was the trial runs along the way, the little tastes of freedom I was allowed, to get a feel for my knee’s threshold. My training log entry for July 19th expressed my situation best:

Tried to run. Made it 300 meters. Cried in the car while listening to girly pop.

My outlook on the recovery process was bipolar. Some days I felt uncertain and self conscious. My sister would come back glowing from her runs — I was worried about getting behind in fitness. Other days I felt elated, celebrating a 1.5-mile run. Throughout, I made sure to celebrate small victories. 

In a sport where athletes obsessively strive to control performance variables, I did not welcome the inconsistency. The only thing I felt I could hold on to was the perspective of people helping. It was crucial for me that I could vent to my physical therapist, find calm in my mom’s advice, and continue my coaches’ workout pattern.

Now, I am not fully healed. My first race this season was at Nike Portland XC, last weekend. I ran, and won, the JV race. I have, however, come to terms with my situation because I can see that there is actually some good in being injured. I learned how to cross train effectively. I realized how important my teammates are in my life. Working out by myself, I now know exactly where my mind wants to give up, and I know that my body can keep going. I learned how to turn frustration into motivation. Most importantly, I learned how much I love the act of running. I realized how much energy I am willing to spend just to continue to run. 

I learned how to be actively passionate for my sport. Before my injury, running was gifted to me by genetics, the outdoors-obsessed culture of Bend, Oregon, and a practice time I can count on after school, led by coaches who I can count on to show up. Injury wiped that slate clean. What was left, the only weapons at my disposal, was my willpower and a bike. 

Injury may be inevitable. I still don’t know. Whatever the case, it seems to happen to a lot of us. That doesn’t mean it sucks any less. It is long, it is demanding, it is isolating. From someone who gathered a perspective from a little experience and a group of people much wiser than she: It is okay to acknowledge frustration. It is okay to be out of your comfort zone. It is okay to spend time away from running. Instead of looking at the clock, use this time to look at yourself. You might learn something. 

You’re injured. What are you gonna do about it?

- FIND A PHYSICAL THERAPIST YOU TRUST. In my experience, physical therapists all have different ideas for what is going to make you better, faster. It can get stressful hearing information from so many places. Keep your ears open to advice, but ultimately go with your gut on who to trust and buy into their plan for you. If they give you exercises, be diligent. If you need to ice, ice. You get the point.

- COMMUNICATE: Your coaches, your physical therapist/doctor and you are now in a communication triangle. After a lot of trial and error I cannot stress enough how important it is that these people know what’s going on, so they can do their part to make you better. And that’s just it – these people in your triangle should work to make your injury BETTER. Don’t let anyone, including yourself, rush the process. Missed races and practices are worth the longevity of your running career.

- RECORD YOUR PROCESS. On paper. Recording on a daily basis also helps you understand what you’re thinking and when you’re thinking about it. Looking back will help you gain perspective over how far you’ve come. This training log by Lauren Fleshman is my absolute favorite!

- CROSS TRAIN. Take this time to explore all the wack ways there are to get your heart rate up. I never would have thought I’d elliptical next to my classmate’s moms as much as I did this summer. I definitely never thought that I would like it as much as I did, either. Pro tip: don’t forget your music to make the minutes go faster!